wow

Wow i can't believe that almost 6 months have gone by since I have posted anything.  So that old adage that the more things change the more they stay the same....yeah its true.  So whats happened since September?  I started dating someone and got dumped Valentine's weekend.  I made it through the holiday season with my sanity...barely.  The holidays with six kids is a bit crazy...crazy and fun but crazy none the less.  New Year's was fun with family and friends.  I am still separated.  Jess turned 16...holy moly how did my kids get so old?  I got promoted at work to customer service manager and do the collections for the 4 branches.  Jared crossed over to Boy Scouts.  I am sure i have a hundred crazy stories i could tell so here is what i am going to attempt.  the key word being attempt.  I am going to post daily.  See why i say attempt?  i will either post a ridiculous story about being separated and dating or i will tell one of my crazy kid stories. Today will be a special treat and you get one of each!  I know I know I am such a giver!!!

Dating story......
So I have been talking to this guy for about two weeks and our personalities totally click.  He gets my humor, we are close in age, he is also separated. We decide to go to a movie and then out for some food and drinks. So i have a pack night with the cub scouts and then am meeting him but I am running a smidge late and we skip the movie but decide to still meet for dinner.  My first hint that he was a little off should've been that they guy didn't have a cell phone, but i think well not everyone does, he's separated so maybe he is on the fringe just cant afford one right now.  So i get stuck waiting outside for him thinking wow i hope he looks like his picture cuz otherwise i am gonna feel really stupid....or more stupid then i already do!  So he shows up and looks relatively like his picture...a little bigger but no big deal.  He didn't open the door for me but i am not a huge stickler on that but it's nice on a first date.  So we sit down and the first thing he tells me is "wow i have to tell you you are super hot!"  So anyone who knows me knows i don't take compliments well but i think ok thanks, change of subject  on to work.  How's his project going?  He is currently designing a Peta approved chicken gasser....and i had known this previously and just had to ask if that made him an anesthesiologist?(let's not tell anyone that i had to retype that word about 10 times just so spell check recognized what i was trying to type)Thank you Tiff for that little joke but He didnt get it! He just kinda looked at me!  Then tells me how hot i am again and how nicely i fill out my jeans.  WHAT??? Who says that????  Then he starts talking about his ex.  He got his hair cut recently and his ex told him he looked like a grape.  I of course had to tell him grapes arent hairy at all and i got a blank look again.  Of course wanting to be technical and give him further explanation and said grapes could get hairy if you left them in the fridge too long but peaches have hair.  Again lost in space. Where was the guy online?  Was this like a Cyrano thing and he was getting fed lines by friends?? So the night progresses like this...talk of ex...i crack a joke...blank stare...another "hot" comment until i am really getting to creeps.  Now i did plan ahead and i have an escape plan...a friend to call and am thinking i am using this emergency plan soon when a child calls me.  I missed the call but ya know i can't not call them back it must be an emergency! So I call them back and totally fake a kid fever.  Now I have to admit I do feel bad for ditching this guy. ANd really it was so bad that when we left i was pulling up to a red light and our cars wouldve been next to each other.  I didnt want to risk him waving or trying to pretend i didnt know it was him so i cut across 2 lanes of traffic and turned and went 15 minutes out of my way to get home.  He was nice but i really just can't date someone who can't keep up with my sarcasm and sense of humor.  I certainly can't date someone that is going to continue on and on about how mean his ex is.  Isnt that a cardinal rule of first dates???no talking about the ex.  If its not then I am adding it to "Carole's Dating Tips for Separated/Divorced Adults"  CDTSDA for short...someone work on that title for me would ya??  RULE #1 No talking about the ex on the first date except to say that you have one.


Kid story.......

Ok i know a lot of you have heard the bird story but this is becoming a classic in my house.  Kristian comes up to me and says mom guess what i saw??!!  What did you see Kristian?  A bird shaving!  I try to act amazed. I ask him what kind of bird was it?  He replies an owl!  He is obviously very excited by this whole thing.  I say an owl shaving huh?  why was he shaving? did he have a hot date??  Kristian looks at me very seriously and says duh!! i dont know mom!!  Cuz that so far is the craziest thing in this conversation right??me wanting to know why the bird is shaving.  So i then ask where he saw this bird.  He looks at me again like only a six year old can look at an adult with that "I can't believe she has to ask me that" look.  Duh mom in a tree...at the zoo...last night......Now the worst part is that i can't tell you how many people have felt the need to laugh at this story but then explain to me that obviously he was dreaming!! So when they do i give them my best impression of Kristian and say "DUH!!!!"


Side note...when i hear a song i like i become a smidge obsessive about it..just ask mark and the kids..the current obsession Zac Brown Band Colder Weather

To my friend Nina and Family...have a wonderful trip in Germany....We miss you already!!!