My children have now become dangerous. Besides the fact that my kids can all pass for children of the corn, I have never feared for my life around my children until the last two days. My eldest two children actually drove my truck. Jessie who was once too afraid to turn on the car has now driven in a straight line and did a three point turn, ok so it took like 20 minutes but she did it. Ok not so scary I guess. I just cant believe that the kid that rocked back and forth on the floor until she could propel herself forward to crawl can now drive(kinda) my ginormous suburban!!! This is my baby girl who cried when she got a baby brother, ignored a baby sister and adored her other 3 baby brothers. Adored until they got old enough to be annoying at least. This is my beautiful daughter who will cry at a song or a commercial and yelled at little boys for picking on her baby brother. These are the fun moments but they also make you look at the last fifteen years and ask where they all went. Was I a good enough mom?did i teach her to make good decisions? I will kill with my own bare hands anyone that hurts this girl!!!!! again more life lessons moments where i ask myself if i did a good enough job to let go and let her out on her own. I think of all the stupid mistakes I made with boys and then men and my life and friends and what could i possibly tell her so she doesnt make the same mistakes??? Then when i take a short breath and breathe into a bag for a minute I try to remember that I have tried to do the very best for my children that I could, they have a great family to turn to should they need it, and great role model adults to look at for examples. Ok panic attack over for the time being.
Then I made a big mistake. I let Jacob back the car out of the drive way and drive down to the next driveway. Holy mother of heartattacks!!!! First every little kid on the block was watching from across the street. Now these are not the smartest of small children so I am positive that one of them is going to dart into the street. Jacob si doing fine backing out then decides that he should hit the gas even tho mom has most vehemently said just ease off the brake DONT TOUCH THE GAS!!!!! So we jerk backward then jerk forward when he hits the brake. He gets the wheel turned around so we can now drive forward and for some reason the small children need to start asking him why he is driving a car and of course being my child he has to answer them but also turn his head and the wheel to do so.I tried to offer up the video game analogy for him but that didnt work. Driving a car is not like driving a Mario Kart!!! Bad analogy!!! Let us all just offer up a prayer of thanks that Jacob has another two years before he can drive.
I think the biggest danger of having kids is you get so darn attached to them. When they are small they are so helpless and need you for everything. Then when they start to do things on their own you are so proud of them. They get a bit older and go off to school and you are amazed at how far they have come and how much they absorb into those brains of theirs. Then the teenage years hit and you can't believe this hormonal monster used to be your happy child that crawled up on your lap just to kiss you for nothing, just cuz they love you. Then just as they become normal people again and you start to like them, they go and get lives of their own. Thats the true danger of having kids....loving them and then having to let them go.
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