Monday, August 30, 2010

Oh yeah its a Monday

I really think my Monday started Sunday night.  That's when Kyle currently 8 and hoping to live till he turns 9 shaved part of his head.  Why you might ask? Just to see what a razor felt like.  Logical, to an 8 year old.  This was after Kyle disappeared twice this weekend and is now grounded till there is snow on the ground.  I really really don't like when they get to the testing phase.  They've got to test the boundaries and see how far they can go. Or if they can really get mom to have a nervous breakdown maybe?  The problem for my kids is they just dont realize how far over the edge I already am. Frankly a bald spot on Kyle's head is the least of my worries.
Closer to the top of the list is the small personal loan I have to take out to finish up school supplies including the two Texas Instrument calculators I need to buy for Jacob and Kaitlyn.  What happened to those ridiculous word problems that we had to do in grade school where one train was leaving Chicago at 8am moving 82.78miles per hour and another train is leaving Detroit at 8:17 moving at 97.3 miles an hour and you have to figure out what direction the conductor is facing in the second train if we are in central standard time.  They made no sense and no matter what answer you put down they were always wrong. Now these calculators range in a variety of models and of course you have to have the graphing TI900xrtqrs with modular something that costs a bazillion dollars.  I think the schools should buy a number of them and they stay in the classroom.
Then Jacob tells me he has an F in lit.  Its the third day of school so how could he possibly have an F????oh yeah cuz mom didnt go buy him a binder this weekend and that is worth 10points and he got 0 out of 10......way to go super mom!! Like I dont have enough stuff to feel guilty about without adding this to the list.
My work hours also changed today to a later start so I can drive the kids to school.  I also have to work later but the kids only wind up being home for about 2 hours by themselves.  I am very thankful that I have a boss willing to be flexible with my schedule.  I also officially took over as "Customer Service Manager" today which kinda is just office manager.  Out of 5 people I got one congratulations, one smile, one dirty look, and two non-responses.  Wooohooooo go me!!!!
So on to my late trip to Walmart to get Jacob his binder so he doesnt have to redo 8th grade.  Walmart the meca of school supply shoppers had one pack of regular pencils that was broken open and all other pencils were mechanical pencils! Not one stinking pack of pink erasers and not a ruler in sight!!  Ok granted I am shopping late but I just had to finish up some odds and ends and did not think it would be quite this difficult.  Never fear Jacob got his binder so he will not be 18 and still in 8th grade.

In conclusion....It was definitely a Monday.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Having a partner is ......

In going through a divorce you  start to realize all the little things you wind up doing by yourself that you never thought about before.  Silly things.  You are doing something and suddenly think hmmm this would be great if so and so were here.  Do you change sides of the bed?  All married couples have designated sides of the bed. Do you experiment and switch?  I have found myself sleeping diagonally across the bed.  And when you wake up in the middle of the night and hear some strange noise who do you send to go investigate?  Who plays back up? There is no one to say "if I am not back in 30 seconds call the police" to when you go to investigate.  You are on your own to fend off any crazy stalkers that might be lurking your property.  Not referencing anyone in particular here...just sayin it could happen.  When you want to vent about inane things that your friends have done that really ticked you off who do you call?  You can't call your friends.  Most of my friends hang out in the same circles and it might get back to them.  You want to go see a great band that you love.  I would never go by myself.  Being third wheel is not fun.   You want Chinese food.  We all know one portion of that can feed at least two people.  Who do you share with?  There is a giant spider in the corner of the kitchen that is looking at you with hungry eyes.  This doesnt always hold true for guys but I do know some guys who hate spiders.  Who do you ask to kill this hungry invader?  You wash I'll dry doesnt work anymore.    There is no one to steal food off their plate from.  That whole oh I just want a salad but then I am gonna eat half of your fries thing doesnt work anymore either.  I actually had to order my own fries.  New restaurant???ok you order that and i will order this and we can share....nope.
Granted Mark and I are great friends.  We are actually getting along better then we have in years.  I am really enjoying being friends with him again.  There is just that connection to someone else where they finish your sentences, fill in words you can't think of, let you snuggle in when you just need to be quiet after a crazy day and not expect anything else that is missing.  Then there is that knowledge that you dont have to worry about them popping out of the bedroom in your bra and panties with hot pink nail polish on.  Ok well most people dont have to worry about that. 

On a different note about dating now.  This new millennium dating thing is much more complicated then it was when we were teens, or at least when I was a teen.  Apparently Men have much bigger egos that constantly need to be fed when they get older.  They think women are bad???  I look fat I need to go to the gym more.   Is this getting to thin on top?? If I was hotter looking you would give it up more.  And while we are on the topic of giving it up.....I think you are expected to do it more now then when we were teens.  If you haven't had sex on like the second date you are apparently frigid.  Yes I have been called frigid.  Now let's be blunt here people.  I have six children.  I have done quite a bit more then six times.  I am hardly what anyone would call frigid.  Even if you don't know me that well I am sure you have heard me make overtures and innuendos.  I am not embarrassed by "guy talk" and am more likely to give it right back then to balk at an overtly sexual comment.  I have seen plenty of porn, a bit more then I would like actually.  So I am not frigid.  Nor will I jump into bed with any schmo who buys me a drink.  I am not interested in a few booty calls.  I am pretty sure most of us have a friend who would be obliging, someone we have known and are comfortable with that we don't see that often that we could call for that instead of a stranger whose past could be questionable at best.  I will not be pressured into sex to prove that I like someone.  If you are a recently divorced woman, please please do not fall into this trap.  I am sure that your self esteem is at a low point and I completely understand that.  No guy who is interested in you as a person and wants a relationship is going to push the sex issue and will wait till you are ready.  Square your shoulders, stand up straight, put on your best "oh your poor man face" and tell him he just missed a great thing and walk away.  I bet 9 times out of 10 he is gonna call you.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Really??only me

I have kind of been seeing someone.  We have gone on four whole dates.  He is very cute, black wavy hair, brown eyes, very tan, very well built, he works construction and dj's on the side.  Apparently I can't get away from the dj thing and am destined to spend Friday and Saturday nights by myself.  Only problem is he lives in Hobart.  We are not exclusive so I have been keeping communication open with another guy from Chicago also very cute, published songwriter so we have the whole music thing in common, full time job is selling security systems. So we are chatting the other day and tells me he is flying back to Nashville.  Nashville?? How fun! Business trip or for fun I ask.  Oh yeah did he not mention he doesn't live here full time?  What??? He will be moving here full time in the fall but right now he splits his time between the two cities.  So this goes back to the human being with a penis anywhere in the state of Illinois.  Really?? Are there no men that live in Illinois that have any similar interests to me that are not currently in jail and are still breathing on their own??  Did I mention that I have been matched with two....yes 2...cross dressers???One actually wanted to dress as a woman to go out.  The other one only dressed in private and never in front of anyone.  Really?? This kind of stuff only happens to me!  I have no problem with guys going to get mani/pedi's until they start asking me advice on what color to do their toes.  Anyone who knows me knows I really sincerely try to have an open mind to people's beliefs and lifestyles, but I would like for my date to dress as a male and not have higher heels on then me. 

On a side note, I will be selling corn on the cob Saturday August 28 at the Justice Summerfest for the Boy Scouts.  The booth is open from 10-10 and I will personally be there at 10am for a few hours and then possibly later at night for a few hours depending on the help they need.  Its for a good cause and helps us run the troop for the year so please try to stop by and see us.  If by any chance you know a male person that is still breathing on his own feel free to bring him with you to introduce us!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

online dating

So I am trying my hand at online dating.  I thought it would be an easy way to slide back into dating. Well, maybe not so much.  I am attractive apparently to large biker men, men over sixty, and men who look like they might have other women tied up in an attic or basement.  Biker men are fine for biker chics.  Men over sixty are fine for other women but that would be like dating my father-in-law, umm ex father-in-law??Dad??Ok you get who I mean.  As for the other guys, I don't do well in captivity so thanks for the interest but no thanks.

There are at least some honest guys.  Those are the ones who tell you they are really just looking for sex and are not interested in a relationship.  Oh wait, I can not forget the guy at the pool who told me I was cute even though I was chubby.  He was honest. Great.

So I get the brilliant idea to sign up for eHarmony.  Not so brilliant.  I go through the torture of answering all the bazillions of questions that takes hours.  If you want to know what my friends think of me then why can't you have an option to send a survey to a friend? I don't know what they think! My first set of matches includes 27 men and I was really excited!  Twenty seven men! There has got to be someone in there that I would date since eharmony has all those commercials saying how they go through a six hundred point matching system so you will find your soulmate on their site.  They show all those cute couples who are now married and the date they got matched and all.  They knew as soon as they saw each other that this was "THE" person for them.  Well not me.  There was not one person I would have remotely thought about dating so I think I am being way to picky right?? So I go through all my parameters again and say a sixty mile radius and height isnt important and drinking more then once a week is fine. Still I get no new matches.  So I redo all my parameters again.  I am really ok with any level of drinking and if they live within a 120 mile radius thats cool.  Really, if the guy is just a smidge taller then me I can deal with it.  Balding? Well not the best scenario but I will give it a shot.  Nothing.  eharmony is not able to match me with anyone at this time.  Really??Seriously??!!!So I change my parameters again.  I will take any human with a penis, that lives in the country, that drinks any amount.  Smokes?? Sure.  Criminal record? If he is out of jail, Sure why not?  Hair? who cares?  I will take a guy that likes any kind of music, will watch any kind of movie, has seen a book at some point in his life and is still breathing on his own.  We are sorry but eharmony can not find any matches for you at this time but hundreds of new people sign up everyday, try back tomorrow.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Divorce

Divorce sucks.  Period the end. NO matter who thinks who is to blame for the end, there were two people in the marriage and two people who wind up hurting.  I don't care what either one of them says, they both miss their spouse at some point and spend lonely nights thinking what they could have done differently and how it all wound up in the horrible mess that it did. 
As for me and my spouse, I am determined to remain friends with him no matter what.  We have twenty years of history together, 6 children, and have been through the best and worst times of our lives together.  He will always be my first love and probably always be my best friend even though he at times drives me absolutely insane. What best friend doesn't?
Yes that says six children, guess now is as good a time as any to get to that point.  Yes I have six kids, yes they are all from one dad, and yes they all have blonde hair and blue eyes. No none of them are twins. Yes people stare at the large white family like they are freaks. Jess is 15, tests at a sophomore in college level, hates being smart, and loves that we died her hair 10 shades darker then all the other kids.  Jacob is soon to be 14 and mellow and sarcastic and very talented at drawing. Kaitlyn is 12 and hitting the teenage years regardless of what she says she is very sweet and the most empathetic person you will ever meet.  Jared is 10 and he is going to be a rockstar.  Kyle is 8 and he wants to be a police officer when he grows up. Kristian is the epitome of the baby of the family, cute as a button, he wants to be a cop when he grows up, they are tougher then police he says.
So this is my blog...it will be about my divorce, my kids, my life, my dating life and everything else that happens.  Trust me it gets a little crazy now and then, but its mine and I wouldn't trade it for the world.