breakfast and anniversaries

Ahhh the joys and pains of fundraising.  Scouts is definitely a worthy cause and Mark and I both put plenty of time into it and sometimes you, ok I,  really question whether its all worth it.  I am sure some other parents do too.  It sucks up so much time and effort and its always the same parents doing the same work while the other parents complain about how they just don't have time after work or no money or the sky is blue or it was too sunny....you get my drift.  Then you finish the fundraiser that takes months of preparation to accomplish, arguing with parents about donations, and money, and having their son work and how hard he did work or didn't work.  Look people I will be the first one to admit that my 14 year old son hid in a room so he didn't have to work.  Some of us just need to face the fact that the teenagers dont want to work, we have to make them work, they hate it, and us sometimes, but in the long run when they are older and successful we will be glad we did it.  SO after a day when i had to get up at an ungodly hour to do a ton of work I didnt really have to do, I look back and realize that it soooo is all worth it.  The boys have male leadership they look up to and admire, they get to do things they probably wouldnt have done outside of scouts, some of them have made friends that they will have for a lifetime that we as parents actually know and approve of.  Then on the other hand there are the benefits to me.  I can send my kids away to camp for at least one week during the summer.  I have made my own friends that i will hopefully have for a lifetime, ok some of them are lesbians, have bugs, are tall crazy German women, one is really cuuute,one is angry, one is married to the angry one, one's a cat, one's married to a cat, one loves anything with bacon and cheese, and the new ones? well i am sure they will show their crazy quirks in due time.  Hey beggar's can't be choosers right??  I hope you guys know i love you all!!

Oh yeah....the Pancake Breakfast was a success and thanks to everyone who came out to support us and to all the crazy people i worked with all day!


Well Sunday was my 18th wedding anniversary.  It was quite priceless to see the uncomfortable looks on people's faces when i said its was our anniversary.  Well thats 18 years that i wouldnt trade...the good the bad or the ugly...ok maybe i would trade the ugly part but not really.  This is life people, the good the bad and the ugly.  You can't just skip over it.  I am soo not saying its easy....cuz its not....its one of the hardest things i have ever had to go through. But i made it....i can't say i am totally over it...or ever will be.  But life goes on.  We learn from it, hopefully change a bit, cuz if we dont learn from our own mistakes whats the point?  I still believe in marriage and love.  I still think i will get married again.  Will I ever love someone like I loved Mark? Probably not but why would i?  It'll be different cuz it will be a different person.  So ladies, and gentlemen, I whole heartedly believe that there is someone out there for all of us.  Be open to it, send love out to the universe and it will return.

aaahhhhhh spring

I hope everyone enjoyed Chicagoland's first taste of spring!! What a beautiful day...went hiking with the kids...hung with a friend and her kids...had mac and cheese my favorite food next to super cheesylicious pizza.  Who could ask for a better day??!!  I love that spring brings hope and freshness and new beginnings.  It just seems like everything is going to be better and I feel like my karma has finally turned around.

For those of you keeping up with my dating life, I did decide to meet with the guy that dumped me Valentine's day.  So the story is that he had some family issues going on...he comes from a family of 7.....and didnt mean for it to be a blow off.  Just that he would call me as soon as he got home and explain, then it would be too late to call, then it was a few days had gone by , the a few weeks, then he just felt like an ass cuz he hadnt called.  I took it at face value and he did apologize.  Well then he canceled on me on friday to go out with his brother.  Ok fine.  Then i get drunk phone calls at 3am!!! Then drunk texts!!!Now anyone who knows me knows i like my sleep, love it, want more of it.  So ok he's drunk doesnt remember that i love my sleep, but then he calls at 7am to apologize for calling at 3am!!! holy moly dude!!! what are you not getting???  You want to call me on a Saturday?? call me at like 10...11 to be safe and catch me after my first coke and make sure i am fully awake and speaking logically.  Ughhh why to some men have to be so thick??  So i have written this little episode off to experience, if we happen to go out on a few more dates fine and if not thats fine too.  He's a nice guy and it would be ok with me if we stayed friends but nothing serious is going to come of this. Oh well his loss.

So on to my contemplative topic for the day, and listen up you divorced parents!!  I am writing this from my perspective as a mom but his holds true for any dads who are in the same boat.  I know a bunch of mom's who after their divorces have their kids full time and feel guilty about going out and dating because they feel their kids need them.  Now keep in mind this has nothing to do with how involved or not involved the other parent is please cuz that is really not the point. My point is merely to point out that yes our kids need us but you cant put your life on hold until they are gone.  There are a lot of women out there who have put all dating and relationships on hold until their kids were older and now regret it because their kids have lives of their own and they don't.  Their ex's have gone on and gotten remarried and started new lives and here they are in the 40's and 50's and are trying to get back into the dating pool and are worried they are going to spend the rest of their lives alone.  Now ladies (and men) let's take a look at my life here.  I honestly think i will find someone who will 1. accept me as I am 2. accept my children 3. accept my ex and how involved he is in my life 4. accept my children....i have a lot of kids...it should take up 2 spots.    Now if there is someone out there for me I know there is someone out there for all of you.  People in nursing homes find new loves!!! Dont give up hope.....find a club...wine tasting...book club...church's single parents group....get out there!! Send out good vibes into the universe, pray for the right person to be put into your path, whatever it is you believe in ask for patience with your search and the courage to start it.  I still believe in love and romance and all that sappy stuff so dont give up hope!!! Its spring....love is in the air!!!

Have a great week everyone!!!!!!!

just when ya think it can't get worse.....

It actually gets better!!!! Knock on wood.  I am really quite grateful that things seem to be turning around and i would like to thank all my family and friends for being there for me when i need them and hope that you all know i would do the same for you.

I don't often have a good Jacob story cuz the kid is just so freaking mellow but i got one and i am sure he will be mortified that i am posting about him.  He calls me after school the other day and tells me he got pulled over by the police.  Now Jacob is 14 so not driving, so I calmly ask for clarification and not jump to conclusions that he was being a clown and got himself into trouble doing something stupid.  So he tells me he is walking home and crosses Roberts Road with about five of his friends. The police officer stops the boys and singles out Jacob for not crossing with the crossing guard and for skipping across the street.  He takes Jacob's name and school and grade and tells Jacob he hopes he gets suspended.  Really???  Let me just throw out there that this is the same police officer that pulled me over for being on my cell phone within four blocks of a school.  I wasnt on my cell phone cuz it was on the charger....at home!!!!  I am still a bit hesitant to take Jacob's story at face value but his wonderful sister Kait actually acted as his witness and said the boys crossed safely and werent screwing around in traffic or anything.  Now i realize Bridgeview isnt a high crime area but if our police officers have nothing better to do then stop and pick on boys, only one out of 5 mind you, he didnt take any of the other boys names just Jacob's, couldnt they find something better to do????  I of course did the right thing and told Jacob that i hoped he was respectful to the police officer and had only one explanation as to why the officer only took his name......cuz his hair is so freaking long!!!
Makes perfect sense right??

sorry sorry sorry

I am sorry about that last post, but what is a blog if not a spot to pour out your heart?  You will all be glad to know i am out of my funk now and it only lasted that day.  Phew!! no more chic flicks for me for awhile!  I even had a great monday for a change.  Monday and I have had a long running feud with each other.  Monday thinks i should great a new week with open arms and be ready for anything.  I think i should get one more day to sleep in late and do all the things i didnt get accomplished over the weekend.  This monday I kept up at work even though i got one more job placed on my desk temporarily.  Then got jess out of a detention she didnt deserve and even had to go to the prinicpal to appeal it, "upon further investigation", imagine my most serious principal voice there, they found that jess was not responsible.  That whole story deserves its own post so i will save it for a day i feel like ranting.  Oh yeah and my friend and her family came back from Germany.  oh yeah and had a totally cool unexpected conversation with a friend.  Go figure!!  Maybe Monday was tired of fighting with me....maybe i was tired of being  a door mat for monday?  I dont know but we met somewhere in the middle and kicked ass!!!  Funny thing about having a great day...you get so pumped another great day is sure to follow and it did.....Today was another awesome day!!!  Now if i could just kick this cough goodbye all would be right with the world.  Life is a wonderful rollercoaster....the downs always lead to an uphill ride and make them seem all that much sweeter!!

For anyone following my friend's son's progress....somehow that doesnt seem like proper grammer but work with me......He is home!!! What an awesome kid!!!  I am sure they don't always feel like it but God must surely be looking after them.  Welcome home and we all hope the rest of the recovery is just as speedy and smooth!!!We love you!!!

eat pray love

Hi all.  Yes i just watched the movie eat, pray, love.  wow, who wouldnt want to leave for a year and "find themselves"???  Would i go away, leave everything i know and love, to try to find some passion?  I dont know.  First i dont do well by myself, i crave companionship.  It doesnt have to be a crowd but i honestly dont like to be by myself.  One of my biggest fears actually, to be alone, solitary, not have someone around to love or love me.  Second i had passion.  or i thought i did.  Do we really need passion?  Can you survive without it, sure, i am now. but is that really living?  I dont know. There are times when i dont think so, surviving but not really living, it gets boring.  Passion get old and fades or maybe just levels off.  I have moments when my heart still goes pitter patter when he walks in the room so i guess to some extent its still there, will always be there tucked away safely so it doesnt hurt quite so much.  can you have that more then once in a lifetime?  have someone that you feel passion for but can settle down into everyday life with ?  do you get struck by lightening twice?  is it even fair to ask for it twice? I dont know, i seem to be floundering out here going day by day waiting for someone to throw me a life raft.  I have friends and family that i am grateful for, love my kids, have a good job but really is that all i should expect?  Should i settle for that?  There are people who are so much more alone then me so i feel guilty for feeling lonely but i do.  i miss my favorite place in the world, and there is only one person who knows where that is. 

I hate movies that make me introspective and emotional, i should stick to disney movies.  ah life!!! what would it be without all this emotion stuff?????