eat pray love

Hi all.  Yes i just watched the movie eat, pray, love.  wow, who wouldnt want to leave for a year and "find themselves"???  Would i go away, leave everything i know and love, to try to find some passion?  I dont know.  First i dont do well by myself, i crave companionship.  It doesnt have to be a crowd but i honestly dont like to be by myself.  One of my biggest fears actually, to be alone, solitary, not have someone around to love or love me.  Second i had passion.  or i thought i did.  Do we really need passion?  Can you survive without it, sure, i am now. but is that really living?  I dont know. There are times when i dont think so, surviving but not really living, it gets boring.  Passion get old and fades or maybe just levels off.  I have moments when my heart still goes pitter patter when he walks in the room so i guess to some extent its still there, will always be there tucked away safely so it doesnt hurt quite so much.  can you have that more then once in a lifetime?  have someone that you feel passion for but can settle down into everyday life with ?  do you get struck by lightening twice?  is it even fair to ask for it twice? I dont know, i seem to be floundering out here going day by day waiting for someone to throw me a life raft.  I have friends and family that i am grateful for, love my kids, have a good job but really is that all i should expect?  Should i settle for that?  There are people who are so much more alone then me so i feel guilty for feeling lonely but i do.  i miss my favorite place in the world, and there is only one person who knows where that is. 

I hate movies that make me introspective and emotional, i should stick to disney movies.  ah life!!! what would it be without all this emotion stuff?????