Last week Kristian was home sick for a day and stayed home from school, then Kait stayed home yesterday with some kind of stomach ailment. I came home early from work and got home just as the other kids got home from school. I sat down and put my feet up and asked if kait had puked anymore. Well this just opened up a well of puking information from my children like i have never heard before. For those of you who dont know I am a huge fan of Dane Cook and he does a whole routine on puking so of course we had to go through that. Then Jacob proceeds to tell us how he hates the dry heaves in between the real puking. Dry heaves by themselves later arent so bad...when all the puking is done and u have nothing left to puke...those in Jacob's estimation are ok. Its the heaves in between that are horrible. Also the fact that your body does the wierdest noises while you are puking. Some awful noise between a gurgle and a groan and a belch and my boys can make impressively real puking noises when they want to. Jacob can also puke with a British accent cuz everything sounds better with a British accent. How do u puke with an accent??? Ask Jacob. Then commenced the attempts at making mommy puke cuz very often just the faked noises of puking can get me sick and I was already feeling a bit under the weather when the conversation started. Only four boys could have a twenty minute discussion about puking and make mom laugh so hard she was crying and then make her want to hurl. So I am sitting there laughing and crying and my dear daughter is inspecting my feet. Again for those that dont know I have a foot aversion....pretty much the polar opposite of a foot fetish. I hate feet and dont like anyone to touch mine. So Jess my daughter is inspecting my toes. She comments that I have teeny tiny toe nails. She now goes into a wierd yoga/pretzel position to try to compare her toenails to mine. What???why would we need to know who's nails were bigger??? Jacob then gets in on this ....as I am trying to escape what I equate to torture. Jacob my dearest first born son then comments that my toes look like tiny little sausages. Now comes one of those things that I swear will go in the book I am going to write of strange things my kids say as one of the top strange things. Jess my honor student first born says "I wonder if I lick both of our toes who's would taste better?" What???!!! First eeeeeewwwww why would you ever lick anyone's toe?? Second EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! The germs and dirt even on the cleanest person's foot!!! It makes me want to have my tongue scraped just thinking about it.
Really I dont know what happens to my children's brains sometimes. Is it from over work at school?? Is it sugar?? Is it dropping them on their heads as babies?? Who says stuff like this???Maybe it is me because who would want to write a book about stupid crazy wierd hilarious things their kids say??Like anyone is gonna read this book when I write it??
Welcome to a small peek at my crazy insane chaotic hilarious fun world people!! I wouldnt trade a minute of any of it!!!
And for those of you who havent seen the Dane Cook puking routine...here's the link WATCH IT!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXhn5U1B9AU&p=FD1039D2B5186CA8&playnext=1&index=24
and here are two more just cuz i love dane and love to share a good laugh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sql4BOWT0y0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB0h9a1CBC4
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