coughing and day dreaming

So coughing is nominally better today but i am losing my voice.  I can't tell you how many times i answered the phone and customers asked for carole,  which i answer the phone "good afternoon(yes i even say good afternoon at 9am and often get corrected)active foam this is carole" then they ask for carole....go figure....and i say this is....they say no no  i would like to speak to carole.  Thats pretty much how my day went.


 So i have this theory.  If i ever got anyone to buy some of my children, cuz today is one of those days i wouldve  liked to have sold one or two, and i face prosecution, I am going to request as part of my defense that the prosecuting lawyers live with all six of my children for one week.  After having lived with them, if they actually make it through the week, and decide that i should still do some jail time i will do my time with head hung low with all due proper repentance.  But it'll never happen. For one i would never sell any of my children no matter how much i threaten just to clear that up for anyone reading who doesnt know me that well.  Its a joke, fantasy, day dream, whatever you would like to call it.  And B, if anyone actually bought any of them they would surely be returned within 24 hours.  Unless i put in a no returns, refunds, exchanges, all sales final clause.  Hmmmmm, now there is a thought......ok really just kidding!!!

So i havent had a date in a while, sad and lame i know and no i am not counting the lame date as a date at all, so again day dreaming at work. I was creating what i think would be a wonderful date.  So picture a tall, dark and handsome dreamy date, we spend the first part of the evening shopping and everything i try on fits and i actually buy clothes for myself without feeling guilty.  Then we go and skip dinner and just have the best most chocolicious desserts (yes plural) ever and some cocktails in a cozy, candle lit, soft music playing restaurant.  Picture a corner booth, partially hidden by palm trees, ok thats how it always is in the movies!  Then we go on to his place, candles lit(yes i like candle light, fat always looks less fat in dim candle light) in his bedroom with the giant 4 poster bed draped with flowing fabric wafting down to puddle on the floor.  Everyone picturing this?  Then we have phenomenal, mind blowing, soul shattering, passionate sex.  yes i have quite an imagination, and no i dont have that much free time at work, i imagine quickly.

Feel free to adjust and use this as the basis for your own day dreams ladies....

For everyone still praying for my friends....mom updated us and he is alert, talking, watching tv, and doing well so far. Let's keep up the prayers for him and his family!! Thanks so much!!

random thoughts

Wanted first to say thanks to everyone who takes the time to read this....especially the one person in India!!I wanted to update for anyone who hadnt heard or was only praying because i asked them to(thanks!!!) my friends son came through the surgery fine.  He was still sedated to alleviate pain but the family can rest a bit now and look towards a speedy recovery.  We love you guys!! I love all of you who took a moment to remember them and say a little prayer.

For those who heard me hacking the last week i went to the doctor today and only have bronchitis.  ok friends, i know bronchitis is nothing to joke about but really in the grand scheme of things ....like said surgery above....not a big deal and i will be good as new after 5 days of antibiotics!  Oh and got some great cough meds with codeine so that doesnt hurt either!

Ok now a kind of rant.....i just read an article titled "marriage advice from cheaters".  Seriously???? One part was a from a never married woman who was having an affair with a married man.  Come on!!!  SHe said that part of her allure is her self confidence.  Really ??!!!???  Well try having six kids and your stomach is all stretched and you have kept a few pounds from each kid and have circles under your eyes cuz you havent slept since you can't remember when and then have some self confidence bitch.  Try having confidence in the same clothes you have had for 3 years cuz you buy your kids new clothes instead  and you dont want to buy new stuff till you lose that next 15 pounds that you never seem to lose.  Another woman said she always gives her married man her full attention....100% every time he needs her.  Ya know why?? cuz there isnt a 3 year old pulling on your jeans cuz  they just spilled a cup of juice on the floor or the baby doesnt need to be changed and dinner made and the pta meeting is tonight.  Now don't get me wrong here ladies and gentlemen, i am not saying these women dont have valid points.  What i am saying is that there are going to be days when you can not be expected to drop the world and listen to your man 100% at the drop of a hat.  There are days when he shouldnt expect it either.  We have all had those days.  We have also had days when the kids are all outside or asleep or miraculously not trying to kill each other and you should give your spouse the attention they want/need.  I am also not saying we shouldnt take care of ourselves.  I will admit i have let myself go and would like to lose  some pounds....ok alot of pounds. But are we just our looks? Shouldnt we also be loved for the person we are inside?  Come on spouses if we are all honest here we could all be in better shape and arent the young 20 somethings we were when we met.  Let's live in the real world people and let's please not take marriage advice from cheaters!!!

ok rant over...i apologize and am now going to bed with my cough meds with codeine.  Sweet dreams !!!!

proud moments

Looks like most of my posts are kid moments eh?  oh well....my kids out number my dates anway. Well that sounds pathetic...oh well it is what it is.  So proud mom moment.  My son Jacob is now a patrol leader for Troop 13.  I know he's not thrilled about it but he's gonna do it and they will hold him accountable for it.  It'll be a growing experience for him. I am excited to see how this turns out.

Another proud mom moment.  Our friends son is having surgery tomorrow.  He has moebus(sp?) which is the disorder where he does not have a lot of facial movement and they will be implanting am muscle from either his ribs or his leg to his face to give him more movement.  They announce this at scouts to keep him and his family in our prayers, I ask all of you reading this to do the same please, and Jessie is in tears.  She goes and hugs his parents and him and is genuinely concerned for him. Its a wonderful thing to see your children grow and show empathy for other kids.  I know Jess will have him in her thoughts as will I.  If his mom happens to read this, we all love you and the rest of your family and will be thinking of you all day.  I know he is gonna be fine and i hope he gets the results he wants!

Again this just proves what a wonderful family scouts is and I am so glad to be part of it.  Yes it gets aggravating at times and i dont get along with everyone but isnt that true for every family?  I know that if anything ever happened there are core scout people that i could turn to who would always be there for me and i hope they know i would do the same for them.

Ok enough sappy friend and family love and all that stuff...i am gonna go to bed and hopefully fall into a short coma and get some sleep and wake up with no cough.  wish me luck on that please!!!

darn it i missed one!!!

ok so i missed a day! I am very sorry.  UPdate on Jared's big Robert Crown trip...they did not have a giant plastic penis..they had girl parts!!!!   When Jared said that i quickly asked for clarification and he was made to look at a uterus!! The horror!!!Jacob B was also tortured with the uterus.  Thank goodness they didn't have to touch it. 

on to crazy dating story!!!!!

This morning i get a text at 6am that i sleep thru until 6:30ish and i recognize the number but can't place it.  I am also not a morning person so really not a good time to be racking my brain too hard.  So i text back "who is this".  The return text is "its me i got off early from work and thought i would say hi".  Oh well that solves everything!!!  Obviously i asked who it was cuz i didnt know!!! Telling me that its you at 6:30am before my first cola of the day doesnt help.  I text back "hi but still dont know who you are".  Well lo and behold it Dave the guy who big loser meany hermit dude that dumped me Valentine's Day weekend and left me by myself with no kids on the biggest Hallmark holiday of the year!!!!!  Can you tell I am totally over it? He proceeds to tell me(via text) that he hit a rough patch and would like to explain over lunch or something and would really like a chance to see me again.  I, being the nice person I am and soooooo over being dumped on Valentine's Day, say maybe.  Let's look at this little situation here.  About a month and half go by and now you want to see me?  No message like a week later like hey i got your other messages but i got something big going on now that i can't explain.  Nothing for a month and a half since he cut off all communication....so what's the deal?  I am torn about meeting him at all.One part of me says meet him so i can give some really sarcastic mean statement and be done with it.  One part of me says meet him and listen to what he has to say and then give him some really sarcastic mean heart wrenching barb that sends him spiraling into some other dimension of torment.  Ok really i am over being dumped Valentine's Day weekend.  then one part of me says just listen to him and if nothing else you have someone to go watch a movie with or have a few drinks with cuz he was a nice guy.  Obviously my different personalities are in conflict with each other.   Decisions decisions!!! 

Just a note....2 years ago today my mother-in-law Ida Eaton passed away. She was a wonderful person and I was I had told her more while she was here.  She not only took me into her home when i needed one as she did with many others, but she loved everyone with all she was.  I love you Mom and we miss you.



 

boy parts

The time just flies and Jared is on his way to Robert Crown.  For those of you who don't know, in the local school Robert Crown is where the 5th graders go and get separated into boys and girls classes and learn about their bodies and then in 6th grade they learn about reproduction.  SO Jared gets the treat my kids look forward to every time they have a fieldtrip.... the all important lunchable.  Who wouldnt want to eat some fake lunch meat and stale crackers and the smallest pack of jello in the world all after its sat in the warm bus for a few hours??  But its a treat for my kids so off we go to get his lunchable.  We are in the car together and he's telling me they got "the talk" about Robert Crown.  I have never heard of "the talk" even though i have had 3 kids live through this trip before.  So he proceeds to tell me the talk is when the teachers tell them all the words they can't use at Robert Crown.  What on earth possessed me to ask "like what?" i have no idea but it opened the flood gates to every euphamism i have heard for penis and testicles ans some new ones too.  Balls, sacks, the d word and the c word(jared wisely didnt want to say those in front of him mom)...those i have all heard of ....willy with a hat??the wiggler??never heard those....  So I am wondering which teacher is put in charge of keeping up to date on this list??  Is it alphabetized for easy reading?  So when the teachers hear a kid use a new term they pull out the list....wiggler..w...w...nope no wiggler on here lets get that in here right before willy.  Then Jared tells me that they bring out a giant plastic penis and they get to touch it...umm is this a class or some soft porn???I told him i didnt think that happened and said "phew i didnt really want to touch a penis anyway"  I think i am relieved to hear that from my 11 year old son.

I do want to give credit to Kait for being a concerned sister also.  When she learned that Jared was going she was very concerned.  She told him he should stay home the day of the field trip.  He kinda laughed that nervous laugh kids get and asked why.  Being the very serious, drama free child that she is, Kait responded to him....."they show you pictures jared...those pictures burn themselves into your brain and stay there forever....and when you least suspect it one of those pictures will just pop into your head!!!dont do it jared just stay home!!!!  I guess I should also say that was the year Kait figured out that you get your period every month and decided that it was highly unfair!!

Yes people ...these are conversations that happen in my house

"jessisms"

Yes its another kid story but funny this time.I love my oldest daughter Jessica dearly. Even as we have a rough patch through her teen years and highschool, she amazes me at what a good person she is.  She has a kind heart, loves her siblings, and is smart and beautiful.  There are some surprising things that come out of her mouth though for as smart as she is.  Tonight we are having a discussion about church and going or not going and tells me that i am going straight to hell.  I guess I should clarify that she did not mean it as in "go to hell" but in the biblical sense of being a sinner cuz we haven't been going to church.  I tell her she shouldnt be swearing in front of her dad.  Here is where my beautiful smart girl starts spinning her wheels just in case dad is getting mad that she swore, which he isnt.  So she throws out there something that might save her......"Hell is a Christian word!!!"  FIrst "jessism" of the night.

Ready for #2???
Mark and I are discussing the show Apprentice and the current cast.  The guy from SugarRay, Richard Hatch, the baseball guy, David Cassidy.....
Here is #2...ready??

Jess  "as in butch and the sundance kid???"
We tried to explain the Partridge Family but to no avail since she has never seen and episode...yep thats my girl....love her to pieces....even if she is a teenager!!!


For those of you who read the blog about the lame date i have recieved four emails from him and will try to sum those up tomorrow!

Have a great Thursday!!!

Kid story??

Well maybe not so much a story.  Just a few thoughts.  A family in Bridgeview lost their 3 year old to a back up accident.  A relative backed up the car and the child was killed.  I dont know this family at all but my heart hurts for them.  As I look at my kids, who didn't do chores today like they were told to, didn't take showers while i was gone like they were supposed to and are now complaining there is nothing to eat in our house, it honestly all brings a tear to my eye.  My children drive me to the brink as I am sure all of yours do on certain days.  What would i be without my children?  Where would my life have taken me if i didnt have children?  I am sure i would have a different career and probably a different house and car and wardrobe.  I wouldve missed so much though!!  All these highs and lows, all the craziness and laughter and tears.  I wouldn't be near the person i am today, I have learned so much from my children.  I realize how lucky I am when you hear of things like this, my children are all healthy, smart, and regardless of what they say out loud i know they love each other and mark and i.  So tonight when you put your kids to bed, yes even the teens,  give them a kiss and say a little prayer for those that have lost their children.

Mommy loves you all...jessielyn jacob kaitlyn jared kyle and kristian

wow

Wow i can't believe that almost 6 months have gone by since I have posted anything.  So that old adage that the more things change the more they stay the same....yeah its true.  So whats happened since September?  I started dating someone and got dumped Valentine's weekend.  I made it through the holiday season with my sanity...barely.  The holidays with six kids is a bit crazy...crazy and fun but crazy none the less.  New Year's was fun with family and friends.  I am still separated.  Jess turned 16...holy moly how did my kids get so old?  I got promoted at work to customer service manager and do the collections for the 4 branches.  Jared crossed over to Boy Scouts.  I am sure i have a hundred crazy stories i could tell so here is what i am going to attempt.  the key word being attempt.  I am going to post daily.  See why i say attempt?  i will either post a ridiculous story about being separated and dating or i will tell one of my crazy kid stories. Today will be a special treat and you get one of each!  I know I know I am such a giver!!!

Dating story......
So I have been talking to this guy for about two weeks and our personalities totally click.  He gets my humor, we are close in age, he is also separated. We decide to go to a movie and then out for some food and drinks. So i have a pack night with the cub scouts and then am meeting him but I am running a smidge late and we skip the movie but decide to still meet for dinner.  My first hint that he was a little off should've been that they guy didn't have a cell phone, but i think well not everyone does, he's separated so maybe he is on the fringe just cant afford one right now.  So i get stuck waiting outside for him thinking wow i hope he looks like his picture cuz otherwise i am gonna feel really stupid....or more stupid then i already do!  So he shows up and looks relatively like his picture...a little bigger but no big deal.  He didn't open the door for me but i am not a huge stickler on that but it's nice on a first date.  So we sit down and the first thing he tells me is "wow i have to tell you you are super hot!"  So anyone who knows me knows i don't take compliments well but i think ok thanks, change of subject  on to work.  How's his project going?  He is currently designing a Peta approved chicken gasser....and i had known this previously and just had to ask if that made him an anesthesiologist?(let's not tell anyone that i had to retype that word about 10 times just so spell check recognized what i was trying to type)Thank you Tiff for that little joke but He didnt get it! He just kinda looked at me!  Then tells me how hot i am again and how nicely i fill out my jeans.  WHAT??? Who says that????  Then he starts talking about his ex.  He got his hair cut recently and his ex told him he looked like a grape.  I of course had to tell him grapes arent hairy at all and i got a blank look again.  Of course wanting to be technical and give him further explanation and said grapes could get hairy if you left them in the fridge too long but peaches have hair.  Again lost in space. Where was the guy online?  Was this like a Cyrano thing and he was getting fed lines by friends?? So the night progresses like this...talk of ex...i crack a joke...blank stare...another "hot" comment until i am really getting to creeps.  Now i did plan ahead and i have an escape plan...a friend to call and am thinking i am using this emergency plan soon when a child calls me.  I missed the call but ya know i can't not call them back it must be an emergency! So I call them back and totally fake a kid fever.  Now I have to admit I do feel bad for ditching this guy. ANd really it was so bad that when we left i was pulling up to a red light and our cars wouldve been next to each other.  I didnt want to risk him waving or trying to pretend i didnt know it was him so i cut across 2 lanes of traffic and turned and went 15 minutes out of my way to get home.  He was nice but i really just can't date someone who can't keep up with my sarcasm and sense of humor.  I certainly can't date someone that is going to continue on and on about how mean his ex is.  Isnt that a cardinal rule of first dates???no talking about the ex.  If its not then I am adding it to "Carole's Dating Tips for Separated/Divorced Adults"  CDTSDA for short...someone work on that title for me would ya??  RULE #1 No talking about the ex on the first date except to say that you have one.


Kid story.......

Ok i know a lot of you have heard the bird story but this is becoming a classic in my house.  Kristian comes up to me and says mom guess what i saw??!!  What did you see Kristian?  A bird shaving!  I try to act amazed. I ask him what kind of bird was it?  He replies an owl!  He is obviously very excited by this whole thing.  I say an owl shaving huh?  why was he shaving? did he have a hot date??  Kristian looks at me very seriously and says duh!! i dont know mom!!  Cuz that so far is the craziest thing in this conversation right??me wanting to know why the bird is shaving.  So i then ask where he saw this bird.  He looks at me again like only a six year old can look at an adult with that "I can't believe she has to ask me that" look.  Duh mom in a tree...at the zoo...last night......Now the worst part is that i can't tell you how many people have felt the need to laugh at this story but then explain to me that obviously he was dreaming!! So when they do i give them my best impression of Kristian and say "DUH!!!!"


Side note...when i hear a song i like i become a smidge obsessive about it..just ask mark and the kids..the current obsession Zac Brown Band Colder Weather

To my friend Nina and Family...have a wonderful trip in Germany....We miss you already!!!